Tuesday, November 26, 2002 posted by Jen at 11/26/2002 11:44:00 PM
I was on the phone with Adam this afternoon, and he was reading me some magazine's list of the fifty least-hot people in Hollywood (evidently, Cuba Gooding Jr. ain't what he used to be), and the call waiting beeps, and it's my friend Susan with the urgent news about the demise of Lisa Marie Presley and Nicolas Cage's marriage. So as Thanksgiving approaches, I'd just like to say how very grateful I am that my friends and loved ones understand my interests so well. Yes, Hollywood gossip and celebrity romance. Also, The Bachelor. Did you hear that Helene gave Aaron the ring back? And that Aaron wants a prenup? Honestly. If she's fool enough to sign it, I hope it specifies that he has to keep that horrid restaurant (Adam thinks they should call it Shooters, after the Melrose Place hang-out. I'm starting to agree).
So first of all, a mea culpa. It's not that Dave Eggers is selling his new book on Amazon, it's that readers who've bought the book at one of the McSweeney's-sanctioned guaranteed all-natural independent locations are re-selling their used copies on the website. My bad.
Thirdly, The Osbournes. Is there anything funnier than a bulldog projective vomiting? Can anyone understand Ozzy? At all? Does Greta van Susteren look like she's wearing someone else's face?
And finally, and with an eye toward the holiday, and the thing that I'm most grateful for, thanks to everyone who wrote in with congratulations about yesterday's super-secret announcement. Yes, you read it right. And now, in a shameless rip-off of those annoying Pergo floor-covering ads, where you get the answers without the question....
A: This spring. And we're both completely thrilled.
A: Yes, I got pregnant the month before my book tour.
A: No, I'm not an idiot. I'm just one of the susceptible thirtysomething women who read last spring's Time and Newsweek cover stories about Your Declining Fertility (subtitle: Have Baby Now or Risk Dying Alone), called up her significant other and said, "Hey, honey, can you come home for lunch? Like, right now?" (In my defense, it didn't help that Newsweek illustrated its story about "women who've resigned themselves to becoming late-in-life mothers" with a picture of my freshman-year college roommate.)
A: It actually wasn't that bad. I never had morning sickness. I frequently had middle-of-the-night sickness, which was rotten for me, but okay for in terms of the book-tour schedule, because very few people wanted to interview me or hear me read at three in the morning. I only had a handful of wretchedly queasy, exhausted days (those of you who came to my reading at New Words in Cambridge were lucky enough to see me in the midst of one of them). But I feel really good now. Thanks for asking.
A: We have some in mind -- a boy's name we both like, a few girls' names we're negotiating on -- but we're not going public with them. For now, we're calling he/she the bun in the oven, or our little bundle of joy -- just Bun for short.
A: Yes, we're going to find out. No, we're not going to tell everyone.
A: Now that I can look back at my descriptions of pregnancy in GOOD IN BED, I wish I'd done two things differently. I wish I'd been able to write with a more intimate first-hand experience about the absolute power of first-trimester exhaustion -- how I'd lie down to rest for a few minutes and wake up three hours later having drooled all over my Entertainment Weekly, feeling like there were large rocks tethered to my extremities. Also, I should have had Cannie had a harder time finding clothes, because plus-size maternity clothing is a joke. You can't buy it in malls, because the mall stores don't seem to realize that women over size fourteen A., have sex; B., get pregnant, and C., might like something nice to wear. I've had to do all my shopping online.
So again, thanks to everyone who passed along their good wishes. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
Welcome to A Moment of Jen, author Jennifer Weiner's constantly-updated take on books, baby, and news of the world. Email me at jen (a) jenniferweiner.com.