Saturday, March 27, 2004 posted by Jen at 3/27/2004 07:21:00 PM
I'm back from my one-night stand in Los Angeles. I had a wonderful time. The reading at the Marina Rinaldi boutique went very well. Perhaps because none of the audience members -- or the outfits -- had anything to say about Dachau.
The crowd was full of friendly faces, including Pamie and Stee of literary, performance, and Television Without Pity fame, and not one, not two, but all three of the other Weiner siblings. Who are now all living in Los Angeles. Which upsets my mother to no end.
My favorite question about life as a writer was "how long do your sessions last?"
Sessions. See, I never would have thought of the hours I spent in Neighborhood Branch of Unnamed Chain Coffee Shop as "sessions." To me, "sessions" has a vaguely sexual connotation. "Your session's up. Now go put your pants back on!"
But the answer is four hours. No more, sometimes less.
And I got good news on both the IN HER SHOES movie front and GOOD IN BED on HBO front....nothing official, nothing on the record on that end, but things are moving along nicely, which is all yr. obed't author can hope for.
Meanwhile, I leave, I come back, and they STILL haven't figured out who Jane Austen Doe is?
I know Amy Bloom was the odds-on favorite for a while, but having read (and thoroughly enjoyed) EVEN A BLIND MAN CAN SEE HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU, I wasn't convinced. She writes with such grace and lacerating wit in her fiction that the tone of the Salon piece didn't sound a thing like her. Also, J.A.D. talked about ditching her day job for the literary life, where I'm pretty sure that Amy Bloom continues to work as a therapist, in addition to her writing.
And Anne Lamott? Well, BLUE SHOE made the Times list in hardcover, which I think takes you officially out of the Land of Midlist. It's hard to imagine that OPERATING INSTRUCTIONS isn't still in print, as every young mother I know got a copy from her hipster friends at a baby shower. Plus, it's hard to imagine Anne Lamott ghost-writing a celebrity bio. Unless the celebrity was Michael Moore. It will be interesting to see how this plays out, and hard to imagine that J.A.D. isn't going to be outed sooner rather than later.
So I'm home. And I'm chilling. And tomorrow's my birthday! If you feel like doing something nice -- and free -- go to the comments sections at www.getcosi.com, and tell them that they need to add some changing tables, as yr. obed't author is tired of changing her daughter's diapers on their bathroom floor.
Wednesday, March 24, 2004 posted by Jen at 3/24/2004 04:44:00 PM
This is more blogging than I've done in forever. I should have crummy readings all the time!
Anyhow, if there are any readers in Los Angeles who are free tomorrow night and who would like to attend a special child-free sneak preview reading from LITTLE EARTHQUAKES, please email me at jen (at) jenniferweiner.com, and I will tell you where and when and put you on The List. I guarantee that the event will end before "The Apprentice" starts.
I'm flying out tomorrow morning. My mother-in-law is on Lucy duty. Today we were going over the Life of Lucy: the parks and the playgroups and the places Lu likes to be.
"She can go to Sabrina's or Bridget Foy's or the Morning Glory and have a bagel," I said.
"Is there any place she's not welcome?" my mother-in-law asked.
Tuesday, March 23, 2004 posted by Jen at 3/23/2004 08:05:00 PM
Meanwhile, I'm going to be in Cleveland next Tuesday night.
No baby! So it's a guaranteed non-sucky time!
And thanks again to everyone who sent such wonderful, supportive emails to me, and vitriolic, profanity-laced emails to Miss Baltimore Crab. No, I'm not going to forward them.
I somehow lost the post where Jewish Organization Lady wrote back to accept my refund (no, she didn't thank me), and to say that "at least (I've) learned my lesson about mixing work and my personal life."
Yes. And thanks for being such a gracious teacher. I feel like writing back and telling her that her rabbi must be very proud.
Ugh. Anyhow, I'm trying to think happier thoughts. Like the America's Next Top Model finale is tonight. And has anyone figured out who Jane Austen Doe is yet? Inquiring minds want to know!
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posted by Jen at 3/23/2004 10:06:00 AM
You know how your mom always said that things will look better in the morning?
Well, I don't think mom necessarily factored in two heavy-duty rum-based mixed drinks of the night before.
However, I did think of one positive thing to say about the Neighboring State Jewish Womens Group debacle, and it is this: they saved me a trip.
Normally, when I want to be around older Jewish women with unkind and dismissive things to say about my work and my child, I have to get on a plane and visit relatives.
So thank you, Neighboring State Jewish Womens Group!
And meanwhile, one more anecdote from the Day from Hell.
Eightysomething Jewish woman to Lucy: What a handsome little boy!
Me: Actually, she's a little girl.
Eightysomething Jewish woman, clearly irate: Well, HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT?
Monday, March 22, 2004 posted by Jen at 3/22/2004 10:21:00 PM
Blogging while drunk!
Before I go to sleep, I just want to say thanks for all the nice emails.
Special thanks to people who've written who've been to my readings and didn't feel duped or disappointed.
Thank you for reminding me why I do this in the first place. And thank you for affirming my belief that parenthood is hard, yo, and that everyone is entitled to a bad day every once in a while.
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posted by Jen at 3/22/2004 07:02:00 PM
Okay. I'm back from dinner with my mommy friends.
I've had a few drinks.
You know what the worst part of this whole mess is?
Lemme tell you.
The worst part is that LUCY IS A MEMBER OF THIS FREAKIN' ORGANIZATION.
That's right. When she was born, one of her baby gifts was a lifetime membership in Large Jewish Women's Organization Here.
How can she be a member of a club that doesn't even want her? A club whose members would say that her mother was a huge disappointment?
One of the best parts of being an author is getting to do readings -- to connect actual faces and voices to the readers...to know that what I'm doing makes people laugh, or cry, or think about themselves and the world differently.
Normally, that is.
Yesterday Adam and Lucy and I went to do a panel organized by a large Jewish organization in a neighboring state. There was me, and the divine Laura Lippmann, whose work I adore.
Then there was a woman who'd self-published a memoir about her son's death thirty-seven years previously...and a professor published by an academic press.
Laura gave a wonderful, engaging talk about her books, mistaken Jewish identity and juvenile justice
The memoir lady spoke about her dead son.
The Holocaust guy talked about the Holocaust.
And then it was my turn.
Lately, the section I've been reading is a short, funny scene from LITTLE EARTHQUAKES about a couple trying to have sex for the first time after their new baby's arrival. (Needless to say, it's a very short scene).
But after the double whammy of dead son/Holocaust, in front of an audience whose average age seemed to be about sixty, I just didn't think that was appropriate.
The organizers had asked me to arrive at 10:30. The speaking started at noon. By the time it was my turn, it was one o'clock. The audience was fidgety. Lucy was fussing. I had a headache.
So I read a short, dramatic scene about two of the characters in my book meeting for the first time under stressful circumstances. I said I'd be happy to take questions about GOOD IN BED, IN HER SHOES, the experience of having a book made into a movie.
The Q and A is usually, by far, the most fun I have at any reading or talk I give, because that's when all the really funny stuff gets dished.
Yesterday, nobody asked anything. I didn't even get the "where do you get your ideas" question (answer: Target!)
I think that so much of mothering is a balancing act. At least that's true in my life. There's the parenting, there's the writing, there's the trying to be a good wife and keep the house in order.
Most of the time I think I do an adequate job of keeping all the balls in the air.
Yesterday, they all fell down.
"Jennifer Weiner was a huge disappointment and not worth the money," the large Jewish organization lady wrote to my speaking agent. A litany of complaints followed: she was preoccupied! Distracted! Hiding in the bathroom with her baby! (I was actually changing a diaper, but whatever). "We would never recommend her and we'll never have her back!"
I should add, for the record, that she felt Laura Lippman was terrific.
I wrote the lady a note apologizing for not being what she wanted. I sent her back her money.
Now I've spent the whole day second-guessing myself, and the whole notion of a new mother trying to have any kind of life at all outside of motherhood.
I shouldn't have brought the baby (obviously). I should have just gone ahead and read the sex scene (maybe). I shouldn't have agreed to do the panel in the first place (and, if I'd known there'd be the double whammy of grieving mother/Holocaust survivor speaking with me, and that I'd be turning in a final draft of my novel the next day, I never would have). I should have just started answering the questions that audiences normally ask (perhaps).
Or I should just acknowledge that you can't have it all -- you can't be a mother and a writer and a performer at the same time, on the same day.
I feel horrible, because in my whole history of writing and reading, I don't think I've ever experienced audience disappointment on this level.
And I don't know what else there is to do, besides sit here and feel like crap on a cracker.
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Welcome to A Moment of Jen, author Jennifer Weiner's constantly-updated take on books, baby, and news of the world. Email me at jen (a) jenniferweiner.com.
