A Moment of Jen
THE NEXT BEST THING — In Stores July 3rd!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009
posted by Jen at 2/18/2009 05:25:00 PM

Things you will pack to amuse your five-year-old for a three-hour flight to Florida:

Coloring books.
Puzzle workbooks.
Two Junie B. Jones books.
One “Color Fairy” book.
One Cam Jansen book.
Healthful snack of whole-grain crackers, cheese stick and raisins.

Thing your five-year-old will be interested in during flight:

Fruit Roll-Up type item (now with two percent fruit!) that she traded Junie B. books for in waiting area

iPod’ed episode of “National Geographic” depicting lion pack devouring baby elephant. (“See, mommy, first they cut the babies off from the herd, then they pounce on its back, and then the baby cubs drink the blood!”)

What your five-year-old will say when you tell her you really don’t want to watch it because it’s violent and disturbing:

“But, Mommy, it’s the food chain! If the lions didn’t eat, then they would starve!”

What your husband will say when you inquire as to how violent and disturbing “National Geographic” episode ended up on the iPod in the first place:

“It’s got the guys from Zooboomafoo. I thought it was okay.”

Activities available for five-year-old at hotel:

Balloon-animal making!
Water games!
Sandcastle-building contest!

What your five-year-old will want to do at hotel:

Play Wii bowling in hotel game room
Watch iPod’ed episode of National Geographic lions-eat-baby-elephant (“No, honey, the iPod accidentally erased that.”)

Proposed sleeping arrangements:

Mom and Dad in bed, five-year-old on pullout couch, toddler in crib

Actual sleeping arrangements:

Toddler and five-year-old sprawled across bed after toddler refused to lie down in crib and five-year-old declares that she is “so lonely” in living room; Mom clinging to edge of bed, Dad on pullout couch.

Number of books you will pack to read poolside:


Number of books you will actually get to open, as you attempt to keep toddler from bear-walking into the shallow end and chase Casper-the-Friendly-Ghost-hued five-year-old around with a can of SPF-50 sunscreen while hollering “Hold still!” while husband makes "important work phone calls":

One (briefly)

What husband is actually doing:

Watching video of lions eating elephants on the iPod ("after you've seen it six times, it gets funny!")

Number of diapers you would, ideally, have stashed in diaper bag for flight home:


Numbers of diapers you realize you actually have, once you’re through security and it’s too late to get more out of the suitcase:


Time into flight when you discover that your one remaining diaper is a swim diaper and, as such, useless:

Ninety minutes

Minutes your husband will spend laughing when you announce your intention, via suggestion from helpful Facebook friend, to use a sanitary napkin if situation becomes dire:


Seconds it takes husband to stop laughing when you tell him that it’s either a sanitary napkin or his shirt:

Three (approximate)

Thing you are glad about:

Spending a few days in the sun with the people you love (especially now that it’s snowing)
| #

Welcome to A Moment of Jen, author Jennifer Weiner's constantly-updated take on books, baby, and news of the world. Email me at jen (a) jenniferweiner.com.

Follow me on Twitter

To order Then Came You, click on the cover

To order Fly Away Home, click on the cover

To order Best Friends Forever, click on the cover

To order Certain Girls, click on the cover

To order The Guy Not Taken, click on the cover

To order Goodnight Nobody, click on the cover:

To order Little Earthquakes, click on the cover:

To order In Her Shoes, click on the cover:

To order Good In Bed, click on the cover:

My bio
Advice For Aspiring Writers

This weblog is now syndicated via this link.

Subscribe to
Posts [Atom]

Jen International

Goodnight Nobody - Norway

Little Earthquakes - Norway

The Guy Not Taken - UK

Good In Bed - Japan

Good In Bed - Dutch

The Guy Not Taken (Dutch)

Goodnight, London!

Goodnight, Amsterdam!

Petit Earthquakes!

Little Earthquakes Japan

IHS Japan

GIB Norway

IHS Norway

Chaussure à son pied

Little Aardschocken

In Her Shoes - Polish

En sus Zapatos

Bueno en la Cama!

Little Earthquakes - Germany

In Her Shoes - Germany

In Her Shoes - UK

In Her Shoes - Italian

In Her Shoes - Dutch

GIB in Finnish

GIB in French

Germans love Hasselhoff and GIB:

Cannie hits Japan!:

NEW - Little Earthquakes Sweden

Cannie goes Swedish!

Cannie hits Rio!

Cannie Goes Dutch:


Jen's Favorite Links:

All in the Family:

Throwing Things
Joe Weiner

News and Media:
Television Without Pity

Moby Lives
Publisher's Weekly
Old Hag
Sarah Weinman
Galley Cat
Southern Comfort

Baby Mama:
Bad Mother

Snarkspot archives:

Powered by Blogger

Copyright 2002-2008, Jennifer Weiner

Listed on BlogShares